Homestay Etiquette for International Students:
Tips for Creating a Positive Homestay Environment

Eye Contact
Making eye contact is a sign of respect in Australia. It might not be natural for you, but people will appreciate if you look at them when they are speaking with you. This lets them know you are listening and interested in what they are saying.

Smiling
Australians show they are happy by smiling. It’s a friendly and positive gesture that you will see regularly in your homestay and even between strangers out in the community.

If you are someone who has a serious expression, people may think you are sad or being unfriendly. You don’t have to smile all the time, but give it a try when you are greeting someone, if you are feeling happy, or would like to show you are grateful.

Avoid smiling or laughing if another person seems mad or they are trying to have a serious conversation with you; this can create a big misunderstanding as they might think you find the situation funny.

Pointing and Beckoning
Pointing is generally a practical gesture in English-speaking cultures like Australia where direct communication is the norm. It’s considered a simple way to draw attention to an object, provide direction, or easily identify a person.

Don’t automatically assume someone is being disrespectful or rude if they point, even if they point at you. Look at their face as it will usually show you there is nothing negative attached to the gesture.

Physical Contact

• Your hosts may greet you by shaking hands, nodding, or giving you a wave ‘hello’.
  – Let your hosts know if you are not comfortable with hugging or other physical contact. They will respect this.
• Never touch your host family’s personal property.
• Avoid close physical contact with host family members when alone e.g. wrestling, etc.
  – In some circumstances, there may be a need for physical contact with a member of your host family e.g. offering medical assistance or getting help / helping with an activity. In these situations all parties should:
  * Respect personal space
  * Seek permission where possible
  * Understand what contact will occur and why
  * Ensure at least one other person is nearby to avoid any misunderstandings, especially if contact needs to be made in a more private situation

Verbal Communication

Language Barriers

• Your host family will understand that you may not be a fluent English speaker.
• It’s OK to say “no” or let your host know if you don’t understand something.
  – Try to be clear with your responses. Do not say “yes” or nod your head if you do not agree or understand.
  – You are not being disrespectful if you say “no” or if you turn down an invitation.
• Pronunciation, accents and using local phrases can make it difficult for international students to understand what Australians are saying.
  – Don’t be afraid to ask someone to repeat themselves or to explain what they have just said to you.
• If your host is giving you instructions or discussing something important, they might ask you to go over what was said to ensure you have understood the conversation.
  – If it’s task-based e.g. showing you how to use the washing machine, ask them to do it with you the first couple of times and then complete the steps while they are there to guide you.
• Using visual aids such as pictures and gestures can help convey meaning when extra clarification is needed.
• Have a translation app handy for those moments when you and your host are struggling to communicate (try DeepL).
• Be aware of your tone and responses.
  – How you say something can affect the interpretation of what you are saying, especially when there are language barriers.

Manners

Most Australians are fairly easy going but manners are very important. If you come from a country where soft language and politeness is not commonly used, make an effort to be respectful and show your gratitude to your host family and people you interact with outside of your homestay.

• Say “please” when:
  – Asking for something e.g.
  “Can you please pass me the butter?”
  – Accepting something e.g.
  “Would you like dessert?”
  “Yes, please.”
  – Asking permission e.g.
  “May I please borrow your phone charger?”

• Say “thank you”, particularly when someone:
  – Does something helpful for you e.g. If another student or your tutor helps you with a task, say “thank you” to show your appreciation.
  – Provides you with something e.g. When your host puts a meal on the table or brings you an extra blanket because you are cold, say “thank you”.
  – Pays you a compliment or says something nice e.g.
  “Your English is getting very good.” or “Have a nice day.”
  “Thank you.”

• Lead with “excuse me” if you need to:
  – Interrupt a conversation or activity e.g.
  “Excuse me, do you mind if I change the channel?”
  – Say sorry for something you have done by accident e.g. If you burp loudly, say “excuse me”.
  – Move or reach past someone e.g.
  “Excuse me, I’m trying to get to the refrigerator.”
  – Leave e.g.
  “Excuse me, I’m going to go to my room now.”

• Say “I’m sorry” if you make a mistake.
• It’s common to greet people with a friendly “hello” when you first see them and say “goodbye” or “I’m leaving now, see you later” when departing the house or leaving a conversation.
• Asking people how their day has been and what they did is also polite.

Third-party Communication

• You might think that you will offend your host if you are having an issue and want to speak to someone about it.
  – It’s best to communicate directly with your homestay family rather than through your agent or your parents.
  – This usually helps everyone come to an understanding and solve problems quickly.
  – Your local AHN office can assist if you are finding it difficult to communicate with your host family or you are having lots of disagreements.

Joking

• If you joke around with members of your host family or other homestay guests, it’s a good idea to check in with them periodically to make sure they are not offended.
  – Just because someone doesn’t speak up doesn’t mean they aren’t feeling hurt. It’s important to ask.

Inappropriate Language

• Abusive or offensive language e.g. swearing, derogatory terms and innuendo are unacceptable.
• Inappropriate comments or behaviour related to a person’s race, religion, gender, sexuality or disability will not be tolerated.

Guests and hosts should be mindful of the following:

• Avoid asking lots of questions about someone’s private life or making personal comments about their appearance, size or clothing.
• Respect peoples’ personal space and avoid unnecessary physical contact.
• Avoid being alone with your hosts or other guests in a bedroom or bathroom.
• Do not send inappropriate or explicit messages or images via text, email, social media, etc.
• Violence in any form will not be tolerated.
• Do not consume excessive amounts of alcohol or use illegal drugs (Under 18s cannot consume any alcohol).
• When it comes to privacy:
  – Ask permission before taking photographs or making video recordings in the home.
  – Privacy should be respected when someone is in the bathroom or bedroom (i.e. knock first and wait for a response).
• Understand that there are differences in what is perceived to be ‘appropriate’ depending on a person’s age, maturity and cultural background. Your behaviour could be considered harassment.
  – “Intention” does not form a part of harassment. Even if you don’t mean to be offensive, humiliating or intimidating, any unwelcome conduct or physical contact which makes the other person uncomfortable could be considered harassment.
  – A single incident can amount to harassment.

Culture and Religion

One of the most important benefits of a homestay is ‘cultural exchange’ – the chance for you and your host family to share your experiences, values, culture and customs. Have an open mind and remember that it’s an opportunity to respectfully learn from each other.

• Your hosts may invite you to participate in birthdays, holidays, religious activities, food practices and other customs or celebrations.
  – It’s ok if you just want to listen and observe – but not participate – in certain events or activities. You can learn about a new culture and show respect to your hosts without compromising your own beliefs. .
  – If you want to participate but don’t know how to, ask your hosts to guide you.
  – You might want to take part as a once-off. Don’t feel like you have to join in on every occasion.
• We encourage you to share information and stories about your background and traditions. You might like to invite your host family to experience activities and events with you or show them other ways to learn about your culture and beliefs (e.g. cook them a dish from your home country, show them a dance, or do some craft).
• You should feel comfortable carrying out your regular personal or religious practices while you are in homestay. Your hosts may also have their own day-to-day “traditions” or spiritual customs; they will most likely explain these to you soon after your arrival.